Pick Up Artist

What is this Self-Esteem Chit Chat all About?

Low self-esteem tends to stem from childhood , even growing up in a happy environment. Sometimes parents encourage a child but in the wrong way. This will create a negative core belief that shapes the child’s life. We like to think we are all in control of our lives but that is not the case. Unless you gain awareness of your core beliefs you will end up reacting to the same things over again. They become circular behaviour patterns that hold you back and influence what you do day to day. The joke is that we aren’t even aware that it is happening.

Your self esteem has a triangle structure. Your day to day thoughts are at the top layer. Then your mind processing / your assumptions (what does this mean?) is in the middle. Finally your core beliefs that you have developed over time are at the bottom.

Layer 1: Day to day thoughts

Layer 2: Assumptions

Layer 3: Core Beliefs

Lets say you notice David Beckham wearing a cool white shirt in a celebrity magazine. It looks good on him, he’s a cool guy and so you decide to buy it for yourself. You walk out of the shop wearing your brand new David Beckham shirt, damm you feel fine. I believe walk was the wrong word there. You swagger out of the shop, confidence is oozing out of you. You could probably impregnate a girl just by staring at her!

Unfortunately though, how long will this happy feeling last? Will this shirt continue to make you feel confident and attractive in a month’s time? What if you see another picture of David Beckham wearing a different shirt? What if one of your underlying core beliefs is that you are ugly?

We’ll this feeling can last minutes, a few days, to maximum, a couple of weeks. Soon enough though the shirt will start to lose its power and then you will start to look to buy another one. Is it the shirt that loses its power though? Or is it the fact that wearing the shirt allows you to override your core belief of I’m ugly with a belief you have about David he’s attractive.

Day to day thoughts
“I love my new shirt”

Assumptions
“if I wear this shirt then I will be attractive”

Core Beliefs
“I‘m ugly”

This is the classic consumer trap of feeling like you are never enough. This is often how high street brands market themselves. Instead by locating and changing negative core beliefs you are able to feel like that million dollar man all of the time. Wearing the shirt will work for sometime but soon as you make a negative assumption about yourself in the shirt it will cease to work.

Ok so I have been pressured at many bootcamps to get my ass on here and share some of the stuff we are using infield. Now I get AA on these forums as I know how long it takes me to right stuff. So am going to practise with short and sweet little tit bits throughout February (my birthday month;-) that you can begin using as they have been field tested to the hilt.

this opener (1 of 3 to do with Facebook) actually was field tested in Starbucks, West Hollywood when I was out visiting Mystery and the gang. Now guys if like me you are from the Uk and not used to seeing super hot women, man this starbucks had more hotties than I see in a month in Nottingham, UK lol. But this Starbucks is special as it was right over the road from Vivid Porn Studios and it just seemed to be a haven for hotties.

So there is me beavering a way on my laptop, while being constantly distracted (God I was like a dog with 2 dicks and a street full of lamp posts!)… So anyway I was working on some new Day Game openers and stuff I could use in normal social settings and kept having a browse at my facebook, pondering on whether or not to remove my then recently ex’d girlfriend – well we had split up after 9 months (this was during the end of my 1st year in the game) – I had, had to feel the pain, knowing she would move on and as a hotty would get all the attention in the world and I would have to get out of my comfort phase and get my sarging head back on.

I was trying to move on quickly, but kept getting shitty messages about me and the women in photos I was getting tagged with (IOI? I don’t know, felt more like bitterness to me) but it was causing problems with the friendship I really wanted us to retain. I had found strength to move with some great advice from my friend James Matador…. And my dilemma was….. whether or not to remove her from my facebook and all the back lash it would create.

so what the hell, I typed it out there and then in Starbucks W. Hollywood and to get me out of the headspace of where and when to run it, I agreed with myself, the minute I stop writing it, I will run it on the first 8+ that walks by.

10 minutes later, finished, a girl that a year ago I would have considered way out of my league walked by with a vibrancy in her step and a smile that said I am something special (the ones we tend to shy away from .

Here is what happened on that day in its raw format:

——————————————————–
Me: “Hey, let me get your thoughts on something real quick.”
[i didnt wait for her to respond]

Me: “How long, if at all, should you wait before removing an ex from your facebook?”

HB: “Well how long have you been split up?”

Me: “Well only a month, but I’m out here and she’s touring and I keep getting all these questions about what am up to because she has seen me tagged in various photos while I’ve been out here.”

HB: [slings her bag off her shoulder and sits down] (I like forwardness of American girls) “ooo this is an interesting one”

Me: “Grab a seat why don’t you” [neg with playful attitude]

Me: “So anyway, I always used to tell her that if I were away doing shows [open loop] and she ever felt uncomfortable about any pictures she saw me tagged in, not to keep it inside and be frustrated, but ask me and I’d be happy to fill her in on what was going on”

HB: “Oh that’s nice of you” [I never caught onto the IOIs until later reflection, which is normal when you are running new material as you are too focussed on getting it out to practise - and that's why you shouldnt be changing your material every week to find the next best opener!]

Me: “woah there, slow this down, by me a coffee before you hit on me like that” [cute laugh in return to neg 2]

Me: You know I felt for her…. a. she was in less of a position now to ask the questions and b. I didnt have the opportunity to re-assure her – so she was kind of like getting a double emotional wammy…. and all because some women dragged me into a harmless photo at a friends party [pre-selection].

HB: mmm she ponders

Me: “well right or wrong I just told her, look…. you’re not going to like it, but we are both going to be meeting new friends and getting back to growing our social garden and I dont want you feeling niggled every weekend when you look on my facebook, so am taking you off for a month or so, so we can both relax and not feel judged”.

HB: “Yeah that’s fair – So what you doing in Hollywood?” [IOI]

————————————————————–

Now just so you know how it all went, she invited me and a friend to a house party in the hills (after a bit of text game later the next day) which I went to with Matador and the host (a Director of some old Movie that I had never seen, but Matador had) really liked us, which in turn added to our value with her. She turns out to be one of the Playboy Golf models (not the Mansion types, but more the everyday pretty types Playboy uses for corporate events) – and has loads of contacts – now I was only there a couple of days, so rather than play and run, I decided (friend zone I hear you shout ) to put her into my non FClosed cool GFs – who has since hooked me up with no end of parties and her friends in Hollywood and LA…. ahh good times, as I stare out my apartment window at the rain of Nottingham .

so in summary:…………

1. Hey, let me get your thoughts

2. How long, if at all should you wait before taking an ex of your facebook

3. let her speak for a moment then cut in

4. FTC – well what I said to her was xxxxx

Nice and simple!

Yeah I know… and in the day time (more so as she sat down indicating she did have time too) or social settings I like to extend the openers as to also demonstrate value with embedded DHVS.

I like this opener as its about relationships, dilema, facebook (I call it Fakebook for laughs) which is all current, your touring GF of value, the fact that she is still chasing you somewhat, that you have your social life going on, and some open loops for further conversation. All in all – solid ‘chick crack’!
Definitely in this original format was suited to more calmer environments for delivery.

Try it out and let me know how you get on – lets see if we can get 50 guys to try it out – once 10 of you do, I will share the other 2 versions that I have created since then about Facebook.

There! I told you I get sucked in and takes me ages to type out!!! Hope you got some benefit

ps. any opinion opener I use, is taken from my real life, which is kind of a personal rule of mine in the game.

The last week has been an incredible breakthrough in my pick up artist career. I have been working on my social circle game recently, (see corresponding FR) and have discovered the power that comes with positivity. My game, while the conversational part is good, is based more on observational DHV’s and vibing out as much positivity and good energy as possible. When I am out in the field, I try to create a comfortable, free, cavalier, positive, non judgmental, state that people are drawn to. I say whatever comes to my head, I am funny and confident, I don’t care what others think of me. I always try to keep my energy level up and instill that into others. I’m excited and enthusiastic with my delivery. If I see someone in the venue who looks like they aren’t having fun, I go up and run some attract material on them that is fun and engaging. I realize now that a Venusian Artist doesn’t have to sacrifice anything to get what he wants. He adds value and positivty to every interaction, whether it is with a waitress, a bartender, a mother, a sister, a girl, a girlfriend, an ex, a cousin, a friend, new or old, guys, fathers, brothers, jocks, nerds, EVERYONE!!! I talk to everyone now. My co workers think I’m cooler. Freinds I havent seen in years ask me what changed in my life. They ask why I’m so positive and cheery and fun all of the time. I tell them that life is good, but in reality, its because I am a Venusian Artist that life is so good.

It is the duty of a Venusian Artist to instill positive vibes and emotions into all they come in contact with. A PUA simply is incredibly skilled at picking up women. A Venusian Artist is a skilled conversationalist. He is the life of every social gathering. He never lets people feed off of him, they laugh with him, they feel validated and free around him. He gives license to others to be who they really are without the threat of social retribution. He is passionate about people and cares for everyone he meets. He has a warm heart. He is expressive and bold. He takes no prisoners and risks wisely but fully. He reaches for the stars. He makes mistakes and learns from them. He is in constant proactive evolution. He wants everyone to experience the joy that is within him; the joy that flows out of him like an endless fountain of youth and vitality. He is never sucked up into petty squabbles and dramas for he is above them. He is above the overly reactive actions of the lower value people around him. He has his own world view and lives according to a moral standard that only he alone sets. He never places harsh or unfair judgements onto people he meets. He is above all positive, reframing reality to suit his forward thinking, passionate and joyous view of the world. He shines his light onto everyone he see and they grow like plants in the sun around him. He encourages the best qualities out of people. He makes people around him better because they have associated with him. He adds value, never takes it.

He is intelligent and just, forthright and kind, trustworty and loyal, helpful and friendly, celebrates every moment of every like it is great and only getting better. He uses the power of his words and energy to change the negativity he sees around him. He does not climb on the backs of others, he is at their backs, pushing them onward in pursuit of noble goals, demanding the best they have to offer and giving all he has in kind. He is a beacon to the world. He changes reality through the sheer force of his positive drive. He sees the uniqueness and passion in every human, man or women, and tells them that he see it and appreciates it. Not only does he strive to be above the fray, he takes as many people as he can with him. His standards are high because he understands all he has to offer, and when he chooses to spend his time with you, it is because you have proven yourself worthy of his presence. He holds himself to the highest standards. He needs nothing from people because all he requires comes from within. He has an unwavering faith in himself and in his own abilties. He never thinks to be try hard. He is never dictated to, nor does he react to the negativity in the world. He doesn’t punish, he simply withdraws his light and shrouds negativity in darkness. He takes risks and is unfazed by failure; nay, failure is simply an oppurtunity to improve oneself. He is grounded, with a clear identity and path, and plans for an ever expanding and improving future. He takes joy in the moment and in the future. He satisfies all aspects of his life, finding any fault in himself and doing whatever it takes to improve it. He is a complete and whole human being. He completes others. He leads by example. He is not only comfortable in any situation, but he makes other comfortable. He is who is he is. He is unapolagetic about himself and his actions for he knows the value and inherent goodness within them.

He is fun. He is playful and witty. He surrounds himself with the best people. He is both relaxed and excited. He is independent of outcome. He understands that the world provides when he embodies the emotions he has within. He is 100% congruent. He gets what he wants because he goes after it. He opens himself up to new experiences and new things. He doesn’t force, he leads. He never puts obligations on people. He accepts his emotions and is guided by them, but he is also logical and uses both to steer him. He doesn’t waste time with fools, haters, or evil people. He is proactive and dominant, but doesn’t look down on the people he leads. He understands that everyone’s contributions warrant analysis, but not always acceptance. He contributes and stimulates, both logically and emotionally. He solves problems on all levels. He exposes himself to embarassment and rejection, accepts it, learns from it, then forgets all about it. He remembers the lesson and forgets the pain. He dances like no one is looking. He loves like he’s never been hurt. He is with a woman completely, even when he has multiple women in his life. He makes people feel honored that he has spent time with them. He is the observed because people are drawn to his energy. He can be vulnerable and expose his wounds to the people he cares about, not for them to solve it, but so that they can share and divide the pain and see that he is human like them. He knows that joy shared is multiplied; sadness shared is lessened. He makes people look good to others. He never lowers his value unless he deems it would help someone he truly cares about. He is genuine. He is all that he can be. He has no regrets. He inspires others to greatness. He breaks down the barriers that separate humanity and joins all of the wandering souls he comes into contact with. HE LEAVES EVERYONE BETTER FOR HAVING BEEN WITH HIM. HE MAKES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

Hi Guys,

I was just putting down some thoughts on the important skill of leading.

An important distinction: by leading, we do not mean the leader of a big company, such as Richard Branson; although he well may be a major player. (Somehow I doubt it ) In this context, we mean someone who leads an interaction.

Badboy taught me that women are like stones; he was making the point that they don’t do a great deal. That’s not to say they aren’t amazing in every way; it’s just that their role in the initial courtship process is not as involved as ours.

Women have to fulfil 3 simple roles:

1) They make themselves look good.
2) They expose themselves (not flash their racks ), in coffee shops, bars and clubs.
AND
3) They demonstrate interest. (show IOIs).

Men that can lead are very attractive to women. Why?

• Leading is a masculine trait. Whatever they may tell you, women like men who take decisions, keep them safe and lead the interaction.
• Leading demonstrates confidence.
• Leading demonstrates dominance.

The better your game, the more you will lead and the less the woman will do; the more comfortable she will feel in her role as a woman. You must look to lead throughout the entire interaction; this is both physically as well as verbally.

Physical Leading

Remember: “women are like stones,” and you therefore have to move them around.

For all the reasons listed above, physically leading a girl can create powerful attraction within girls.

Example:
You are talking to a girl in a bar and you want to lead her somewhere:

BG: Come on, let’s go get a drink at the bar.

You take her hand and then walk towards the bar. Don’t look back; it’s needy and you must be committed to the move. You must be “gently dominant.” Gently but firmly lead the girl and she will come. DO NOT use force as it will be met with resistance. Physical leading should be very smooth. Resist the temptation to rip, tug or grab her or more often than not, she will pull back against you.

A few tips:
Always have a reason to move the girl.
When you start to lead her away, keep talking as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. This will occupy her logical brain and will reduce the chance of her resisting being led.

Physical leading is great for isolating girls.

When you are standing in a group of people, you say to the group:

BG: I am just going to take Chrissy for a quick shot of Sambuca… we’ll be back in a few minutes.

Take her by the hand, and lead her away smoothly and keep talking.

It is also very useful to lead the girl a number of times around the club. Firstly, you will be able to practice your leading and secondly, the more you lead, the more she will become attracted to you.

Touching in the club:
This is another variation on physical leading. We all know how important it is to touch girls in clubs and bars. “Kino is king.” It is very important that you learn how to put your hands on a woman in a bar or club without invoking negative responses.

Touch a girl in the right way and she will be receptive to your touch. Touch her in the wrong way and things can go badly wrong!! Touching should never be forceful or aggressive. It is very difficult to describe in words, but I will try.

It should be gentle and smooth, but with a touch of dominance. She should always be able to pull away if she wants, but you should also be able to guide her where you want. If you put your arm out to stop a girl walking by, make sure there is some give in your arm. If there isn’t, she will interpret like you are trying to grab her like the other AFCs in the venue and she will act accordingly (What happens to most AFCs?)

When you pull a girl in close, ensure that you are doing so in a smooth, gentle but dominant way. I call it “weak hands;” it’s like “gentle dominance”. You know what you want and you move to get it, but you don’t just grab at it. Remember, smooth and assured touching will be rewarded with compliance and attraction. Force will be met with resistance. I know which one I want.

Don’t physically lead for the sake of it. I have visions of guys who have read this leading girls unnecessarily around the bar, wondering why it’s not working. Well guys, it’s not working because it is weird. If you don’t need to move her anywhere, don’t bother. Just be mindful of the fact that if an opportunity arises, you know what to do.

Leading the interaction:
As well as leading a girl physically, we must also remember to lead the interaction. I rarely let a girl take a decision that I could have taken myself.

This is not a definitive rule, but more of a guideline; in general, we must lead the interaction more than her.

Eg1:
Her – Where are we going?
BG – I don’t know… what would you like to do?
This is WEAK.

Eg2:
Her – Where are we going?
BG – We are going to bar X…
This is STRONG.

If there is a problem with the decision you take then you will see this in her body language or she will let you know verbally and you can deal with it. In these situations, her body will tell you whether she is actually happy or not and that will let you know whether to push on or reconsider.

Lead the interaction, lead the conversation topics, lead her physically; you are a man, so behave like one.

I know it sounds ridiculously simple, and it is, but some guys get caught up in the trap of thinking that they must do exactly what the girl wants the entire time; in actual fact, this is probably killing the attraction inside her.

Again guys, apply these principles with some common sense. I am merely advocating that when a decision is there to be taken, more often than not, you should take that decision. BUT… the world will not end if you don’t. Be cool. All girls are different and in some situations, it is nice to find out what a girl would like to do and then do that for her. As long as you are leading more than her, then you are doing OK; and the more you practice leading, the more natural it will be. You will become calibrated.

Interesting Observation: You will find that when you get good at this skill, you will also start to lead the men. It will be a totally unconscious phenomena, but a sure sign that you are improving. When a girl sees you leading men, what does she feel? I’ll leave this with you.

IMPORTANT
Remember guys; the goal is to learn this skill so you don’t even have to think about it. I was taught leading and I saw how powerful it was, so I started consciously doing it, which is fine, but sub-optimal. After about a month, I started to lead subconsciously; it’s something that just happens naturally – this, my friends, is optimal.

Hope this helps.

Peace and love,
Baby Girl xxx

Hey Fellas,

I just got back from a week in LA spent with Tyler filming some absolutely awesome in-field footage. I’m really excited about the clips we have recorded since both the video and sound quality is unprecedented and this is the type of thing that wasn’t available back when I first found the community.

The experience was a lot of fun if not admittedly a bit invasive…
Paparazzi

Recording and editing literally a week of footage really gave me an opportunity to examine my own game with a critical eye, making me aware of both areas I need to tighten up on as well as revealing a few things I was never even aware I was doing. The biggest insight was actually into my own verbal game – specifically I noticed a repeating trend that really forms the base line flirty vibe behind all my interactions…

The Art of the Spin.

Watching my interactions, here’s the pattern…

I approach a girl, start talking, usually with something situational and mostly rambling about myself.

“Hey what’s up, I’m Ryan… oh cool, nice to meet you… yeah I’m actually pretty jet lagged and tired right now, but I haven’t seen my friends in a while so I thought I’d come out bla bla”

Flirting

The idea here is that I’m being intentionally mundane. Why mundane? Well, for one thing I’m not qualifying myself either with my words or the amount of investment I’m putting into the interaction, and beyond that, it allows her to get comfortable with the interaction so that what comes next is more of a spike…

Me: So yeah, even though I’d rather be home catching up on sleep here I am out at the club, but I guess now that I’m here I’m glad my friends dragged me out because if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have met you and…

I begin here going from mundane into an over the top statement of intent (SOI) or assertion of togetherness.

Girl: Haha yeah… I’m sure…

Me: and we wouldn’t have fallen in love and we wouldn’t go home and make ten thousand babies so me coming here is a good thing and…

Again, taking the SOI so far that she literally has no choice but to reject it. (In the cases where she does accept this big an SOI it’s simply straight to the makeout and pull). Notice though I’m not saying this stuff and pausing… I’m actually ranting until the girl interrupts…

Girl: Haha what the… I’m not making babies…

Spin

And here’s where we SPIN back – basically we back off but reinterpret her rejection as an indication of her interest in us. Ok – THIS IS BIG! We SOI HARD, then back off, but use her strong feelings for us AS A JUSTIFICATION FOR BACKING OFF. Essentially as you back off, she goes into an agreeable frame… that frame then carries into your assertion of her IOIing you. Observe:

Me: Oh wait… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that… you’re right, we should take our time and have a proper courtship before we get started breeding the little runts.

I’m doing a couple things here… Firstly, by referring to making babies as “breeding the little runts” I’m further letting her know that I’m only being playful and I’m not actually trying to impregnate her. But beyond that and more importantly I’ve built a playful vibe that she’s not going to want to detract from by being disagreeable – AND I’ve given her something completely polite that she can very easily agree with… (girls will almost never opt to detract from the vibe unless they absolutely must).

Think about it – I put out “Having a proper courtship before making babies”. There is simply no way she can disagree with this… what’s she gonna say “no”… “fuck you, I’m gonna make babies without a proper courtship”??

So she preserves the vibe and agrees…

Girl: Haha Yes, I’m a lady and I demand to be treated properly smile

Me: Indeed, I’ll take good care of you and buy you only the finest of tacos and I won’t even insist on rough anal sex every night…

Girl: What the…! I’m not having anal with you!

Me: Haha sweetie of course not! I just said you’re my baby and I’ll take care of you…

(Again, the backward spin)

Girl: Yeah you better…

Me: Yeah, I’d be totally content having just cutsie cuddly sweet romantic sex with you… you know the type where I’m kissing you and hugging you (hugging her and kissing her on the forehead as I say this), and where we lay in eachother’s arms afterward…

Here I’m pretty vividly painting an experience, that because it’s so polite compared to what I’ve previously put out she’s likely to accept and even envision… so again, we SPIN.

Me: And we won’t need to do any of that kinky stuff… at least not until we start cranking out babies and you get fat and I don’t find you physically attractive anymore… then we’ll probably have to do kinky depraved shit just so I can even stomach it…

Girl: OMG you’re such an asshole.

At this point, depending on how into me she is, she may even qualify, like “OMG you’re such an asshole… I’d be a hot mom…” Or she may just spike and not qualify – either is fine because now we’re SPINNING back to our original loop.

Me: No no, you’re misunderstanding, that’s the whole point, and that’s why I agree we shouldn’t make 10000 babies but should instead have a proper courtship with no kinky depraved sexual acts or emotional abuse and instead just appreciate the magic we have together right now.

If I’m able to run a spin loop like this through to completion attraction will be through the roof – so much so that I’m literally able to shift straight into leading and logistics. I’ll assert some more togetherness, escalate more, but for the most part pending no unforeseen interruptions it’s a done deal.

I’ll exit the loop and start to Pull Down.

Me: But look, if this is going to work, we need to get to know each other on a personal level, tell me about you…

And on the flip side, if attraction isn’t as high as I like, I’ll simply enter into another spin loop, this time basing it on a real OR fabricated IOI from her and responding with another hard SOI:

Me: But look, if this is going to work, we need to get to know each other on a personal level, tell me about you…

Her: Well, I’m 23, I go to law school, what else do you wanna know?

Watermarked

Me: OMG, you’re my baby, you had me before law school… look sweetie, I like you for you, I don’t need a resume to know how special you are…

Her: I’m not giving you a resume, you asked me to tell you about me so I am…

Me: You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m just crazy about you, go on, tell me…

And that’s the game folks… note a couple key themes…

1.) I’m asserting her actions to be IOIs to me.
2.) I’m getting her to accept very hard SOIs from me because they come in the form of exit loops from even harder inappropriate SOIs.
3.) My apologies are tethered to assertions of togetherness (you’re my baby, etc.) so that to accept the apology is to acknowledge our being together.

It’s really fun being able to watch and re-watch all the footage we’ve got as it really gives me a chance to examine the subtleties I never realized in my own game. Of course on any given night I’ll be varying amounts less gamey than the above depending on my mood and such, and at this point the majority of the time I can simply get the girl just by being more authentic and at ease with myself than other guys… but when it comes to ‘game’ the above is how I typically run it.

Try it out, give it a spin (pun intended).

Cheers,
Ryan

A fantastic post I’ve found by Manwhore, enjoy

———————————————————


Controlling your Emotional State:
Most people base their emotional state, their idea of success, and even their own self-esteem on where they think society would place them. Whether it be because we see the media pick apart celebrities and politicians or because magazines and the like tell us what to wear, look like, and even act like- this idea is ingrained in us- it is fundamental- it is our lens on reality.


But the problem is not that some magazine has a cool and interesting idea on how they think a male should act and look- but that people now doubt their own originality and way of doing things. Basic things like uttering a thought outloud, people’s opinions on their own personal talents and skills- i.e. an artist thinking he’s shit ‘cuz he can’t play sports, even being in tune and acting on your desires- it’s all done through a filter. Fuck the filter. Are you where you want to be, are you taking action in your life? Are you working to improve yourself..? Take your own word for how you think you should feel. Everyone else will take your word for it. People will only judge you for how you judge yourself. Now realize that some of you will have to work a little harder at this because you are dealing with people who think they know who you are and don’t want you to change.


A friend of mine snuck her 16 year old sister into a bar- they’d had dinner there earlier and then never left. Someone who knew her got jealous of the attention she was getting from the guys and told management. So security came for her sister and took her to another part of the bar to question her. My friend found me with a scared bewildered look on her face- her emotional/mental state was hopeless- she was in no condition to do anything to help her sister. She had been completely overwhelmed by the situation. She asked if I could do anything. I went and found her sister being questioned by security- she was in even worse condition- they were questioning her about how she got into the bar and she couldn’t even form words to talk. She was just looking up imploringly at the bouncer with a helpless and scared look on her face. The problem at this point is that the bouncer could tell the girl was under his spell, it was power and he really didn’t want to give it up. He’d projected a frame of her being guilty and she’d fallen right into it, he was master at this point. I walked up, announced calmly to the guy that she had been having dinner with her sister earlier and that now she was now going to simply leave. It took him a bit to even want to acknowledge me, I repeated myself firmly and said she just needed to leave now. She got some of her bearing back and nodded her head in acknowledgement. He stood there for a couple seconds more and then simply said, “ok go.”


“Hey.. do you believe in magic spells? ” I do


This is typical. Every day people react to situations in the manner in which they think they should be reacting or are used to reacting. It’s like they live in a program: the social Matrix. ‘Ok I got caught.. cue negative feelings of guilt, insecurity and bullshit.’ Or ‘She doesn’t like me, there must be something wrong with me. I’m not good enough to get women like that.’ Do NOT let someone or something- a situation- project a negative frame onto you. Own your emotional reaction. It is yours to control! Realize that you can choose to let something bother you and ruin your day- or not. Your emotions and feelings aren’t meant to just come and go based on external factors.. I think some people think they are. Discipline your mind. Otherwise someone will perceive they have authority over you and own you, a woman will see these cues and not give you the time of day. A woman will look to your cues to see how to react to you and how to perceive you- are you high value? Does her little attitude bother you? If it does then you’re not what she wants.. this is the female screening process.

Real Communication: Male/Female Dynamics
Some of you guys seem hardwired to be combative with girls… like you need for them to validate your dominant frame or at least recognize it. You don’t..


In the past I would be guilty of this also, I look back now and realize that if I’d just not allowed myself to become involved in these situations (mentally or emotionally), there wouldn’t have been an issue, and these females would responded to me much better. Women were never meant to be the judge of a guy’s value.. they are hardwired to pick at it! If a guy allows a girl any room to be a judge of his value- he is automatically lower value. I think this might actually apply across the board of human interaction.


Girls are.. girls. They aren’t meant -or even enough- to bring out my dominant side. But my vibe communicates that I seriously handle my shit. They know it.. but they won’t have to experience it themselves. This is actually what they want. We are men.. we fight lions, the earthly elements, provide strong emotional context for what matters and what doesn’t (when girlies wrap themselves emotionally around dumb shit), and.. WE DO NOT GET IN CONTESTS WITH WOMEN.


A quick note on comfort building: Introduce your values- don’t just go for a stronger emotional connection. You should be using this time to make her realize you are nonjudgmental about her being a sexual creature and acting on her desires. I’ve heard some guys post that the girl “figures out” what you’re doing and maybe even calls you on it. But this shouldn’t be a problem. Project. Project feeling and sincerity. Body language, eye contact and voice. I make girls comfortable talking about and expressing their sexuality. I communicate that this is just the kind of dude I am- it’s my reality. Your identity needs to be that of a guy who gives and receives attention from females. Freeflow. You just.. respond to things different than other guys. You can be the guy who banged a girl in a closet, and there’s a guy right next to you who’s getting sexual harrassment charges for being creepy, because.. his behavior is just not acceptable in the workplace. He didn’t give himself permission to be this way, acted incongruent- therefore he didn’t deserve to be acting like that. Girls picked up on this. I just read Tyler’s article on the “Secret Society”. That’s what I’m talking about here..

Controlling your frame before projecting sexuality:
A lot of guys probably think I’m some rabid sexual monster- that I just lay on the sexual vibe without regard to the mental state of the woman I am talking to- that my skill lies in so getting a woman to accept the strong game I “throw” at her. This is really not the case- it is actually very well calibrated to the state she’s in.. the difference is that I can actually put her there- I can get her ready for what I really want. When I recognize her signs (basically how strong she’s reacting to my cues) I act on them, I grab her and pull her in, I give her sexual eye contact, I tell her upfront what I’m going to do to her, I lift up her skirt or gaze at her body plainly. Maybe she’s not ready for something so potent, so I’ll calibrate to the level she’s at, rinse wash repeat. The most important thing I can do, is touch her. More on this later.


Some girls I can be quite upfront with, others I know I have to approach the topic in a roundabout way- either they’re just not in touch with it because of ASD or they’re just not sexual people. I do this with some skill- usually through misinterpretation, jokes, telling her a story that starts off sounding so innocent but with a sexual side, or just through plain kino. One girl who I could tell was quite reserved and out of touch with her sexuality I told a story about a physical I got from a doctor who wanted to turn off the lights so he could “get a better look”. So when I was done we started talking about her experiences with gynecologists- she said it was uncomfortable being laid out naked on a table and having them use steel instruments on her. I was laughing, It was a perfect opportunity- I realized her frame on it was negative, so what I did was project a fun positive vibe about her lying there like that, and then told her if it had been me I would have put my instruments in the freezer before she came in. She laughed. So I turned an uncomfortable topic for her into a fun one and then put myself in it in a sexual way. This wasn’t a natural flow of the conversation either- it was a buildup of sexualness and I was listening to her cues to make sure she was in my frame. It’s more than realizing she’s actually listening to me and building off the thread I start, it’s listening for her tonal responsiveness to my reality. When she’s accepted my take on things then I know I can proceed.


I control, or take over the frame with vocal and tonal projection. Bottom line. Eye contact is already there, so is relaxed confident body language. You need to have these down already. Be relaxed with yourself and your surroundings. There is no reason not to be relaxed around people and be able to look people in the eye and stand there relaxed.. people want you to be this way. They’re more comfortable this way. But don’t concern yourself with acting overly “cool” or Alpha. Just. Be. Relaxed. “The Self is always showing through..”


Going back to vocal projection- a lot of people say don’t care about other people’s reaction to you, yet when you’re socializing and projecting this seems almost counterintuitive.. aren’t you trying to get a reaction? Aren’t we “running game”? We are actively looking for compliance cues from females and even males- so how can we not care? I understand the point of this whole “don’t care what people think” but for new guys who don’t understand the underlying concept it possibly confuses them. Maybe a more helpful framing of this concept would be to say that when you speak, sound like you expect a good reaction- that you want people to hear what you have to say, more than just trying to get people’s attention- your mannerism demands it. So you project it for all to hear with a carefree attitude. Realize that this is what a socially well-calibrated person actually sounds like. There’s a solid Mmmphf to your voice.. it doesn’t waiver or falter, and it does not fade off. If you find yourself saying something that you don’t think is going to be acceptable, you either cut yourself off with a “-wait fuck that that’s not what I meant” or just say it and act normal. Do not ever let your sentence trail away into obscurity or your voice fall into a mumble. That is death.


I am a military officer- I have to sound like I’m in charge. Whether I’m telling dudes to mop the floors or we’re rolling up on an “enemy” position and my platoon needs my directives, My voice can say so much about my internal state- I need it to say I’m the one they should be listening to.


But I modulate my voice to the environment I’m in. I’m not going to be barking all the time- even with my soldiers. When I was in sales and I was speaking to a housewife I made my voice sound “nicer” and sweeter, when I had a male customer my voice hardened slightly. Calibration. When a guy pulled a gun in my face I spoke evenly and calmly, I did not let the situation escalate by sounding scared, or sounding aggressive, I think my buddy pooed his pants though and that ruined it- the dude smelled his fear.


My tonality is flexible- I want it to be able to communicate different things when I want. My projection remains even- I have something to communicate and you and you and you, are going to listen. You can hold attention with your voice- ‘When I speak.. people listen.’ Even if you’re not in the mood to be social and be the party guy it doesn’t mean you have to sound like you’re a lesser value guy. Answer people with gusto- be comfortable holding attention when it is required or asked of you, even if for a little bit.


When I speak with females my voice is softer and has a greater tonality range. Sometimes I even coo. I don’t “bark” at females, they don’t want to be barked at, they just want to know that you have the capacity to bark. They might try to instigate you, at this point you want to be unreactive, but if they overstep your boundaries then you quickly let them know. And then subside.. we fight lions and tigers.. a male getting into a power contest with a female shows a fundamental weakness on his part. A man does not fret over what a woman thinks of him.


More on the military.. Many senior NCOs- E6s and above- are used to being able to project over an inexperienced or unsure Lieutenant, even though the LT outranks them- it’s taking advantage, and I can’t blame them. I walked into a situation the other day where a senior NCO was putting another Lieutenant on the spot over something silly- it wasn’t even an accusation, just a way of projecting and phrasing something that made the Lieutenant feel like he was obligated to answer the NCO the way he wanted. Then he tried it on me, not quite the same reaction.. I just stood there looking at him and said “WHAT?” Simple projection of my voice- no accusation, just subcommunicating to him that I knew my role and I was sure of myself. The frame changed. By looking at him evenly and comfortably- and speaking the same way, his manner of communicating changed, This wasn’t about me “being in charge.” I don’t need stupid validation like that, this was a man to man “don’t pull that crap on me” vibe. Simple mutual respect.

Physicalness is the last key:
I was with my wing SDC (Austin) a couple of weeks ago in San Diego’s PB Bar & Grill. I saw two very attractive blonds sitting down at the bar having a drink. I opened them with “HEEY are you speaking Spanish..?” With a quizzical look on my face, I was slightly leaned in, demanding an answer but my overall vibe was one of fun. She laughed and said something. I laughed and said something. Blah blah. Then they continued on their conversation- I heard one of them say to the other about some guy being “so anal about this shit!” I leaned in again.. “By the way.. (pause and quickly look at the other girl before continuing on) I’m anal about my shit too ” They both laughed- the set was now open. I slowly escalated sexual topic until we were talking about blowjobs and facials and the like. One of the girls was a pregnant housewife- gorgeous girl, and she asked me why some guys liked pregnant women. I made up a reason on the spot about how us guys put a pillow under a girl’s tummy to lift up her bottom and give us better access to it- whether we’re tonguing her down or entering her from behind- and that her being pregnant did this for us already. I got them talking very freely about their sexuality, the things they wanted to try and stuff. I told the single girl I was going to find us a mexican girl to take home with us, she laughed and gave a little resistance. Anyways long story short I got her number and myspace and then told them we were going to take off, I leaned in and pulled her into me to give her a hug and kiss, shook the other girl’s hand and we walked away. SDC said to me, “All that ‘game’, all that sexual stuff you were talking about with them, didn’t mean anything until you gave her a hug.” FUCK! He was so right. It really didn’t mean anything, didn’t have any kind of real connection. The real anchor is always in physical touch.


The Claw: If you guys aren’t comfortable touching a girl and being relaxed and confident about it, you’re fucked. You just aren’t gonna get laid. I’ve talked to a couple of you who have actually told me, “Well I just don’t like to be touched.. it makes me uncomfortable.” confused Women are sensual creatures, they can tell a lot about a person through how they’re touched by them. Is this person comfortable in his own skin enough to be that close with someone else? Do they see themselves as high value enough and their reality strong enough that they can just assume someone else would want to be part of it? Is this person a sexually experienced person? This is why the claw is so powerful- it’s attraction/comfort/dominance/seduction/fool’s mate all in one. Remember you don’t just put your arm around her shoulder like a wet dishrag, you grab her, hold her and pull her in to you. The claw is dynamic- the grip is dynamic- it’s not a feeling she can dismiss like background noise- she feels it’s presence at all times.


When I meet a girl for a first date I immediately get physical with her. I’ll casually walk up on the side of her and claw her in, I’ll give her a squeeze and then let her go- walking at my own pace and letting her fall in-step with me. If she says something cute or we make random eye contact I’ll pull her in to a light headlock, maybe give her a noogie and then push her away from me. When I’m out publicly with her I project vocally to whoever I’m interacting with- whether it be a movie ticket salesman or a waiter. She wants to see this. When we sit down together I take up a lot of space, I subtly take over her area also. This is why I like taking girls to see a movie- my physical presence is just so palpable with her sitting next to me. At this point I will reach my arm that’s on her side across her body to her opposite thigh and hold her there, slightly pulling her in. It’s another version of the claw. I’ll pull her in and slightly behind me so my shoulder is in front of hers and I’m slightly leaning back against her. Picture this. She feels very protected and in your space whether she realizes it or not. It’s a very dominant way to sit with a girl.


I think there’s pros and cons to taking a girl to any type of movie- I take her to a movie that I want to see. I like horror movies and action flicks- but If scary movies make you nervous let me know, I’ll give your girl a call and explain things to her.


I don’t always employ the claw when I am first meeting girls- I’d say when I’m in the club, at a bar, walking the streets or approaching girls randomly I use it immediately about 60-65% of the time. But I can tell when she’s not immediatley open, in which case I’ll open with something else to prep her for my physicalness. I’m very sensitive to her state- usually if she’s willing to stand there and talk to you even for a second and respond to you she wants to be clawed, if she wants to be clawed she’s open to be kissed.


Yes I use the claw during the day.


A lot of you guys don’t know or refuse to take on the role you are meant to have in male/female interactions. You want the comfort and security of knowing that she’s going to respond well to your advances. You want us to tell you the exact scientific steps to opening her up and compelling her to make the moves. Stop being a vagina. You are not a vagina. You are all males.. know your role. Males are aggressive and bold about their actions and desires. Females are biologically hardwired to respond to this. Sure you might have a girl not respond well to your initial advance. Boohoo. We do not apologize for our desires as males. Some women might try and see if we will apologize- they might put on a good show for us.. but this isn’t what they want. This is the difference between coming off as a creepy horndog, and a masculine, Alpha male with a naturally strong sexual drive. These guys have permission to be this way.. they take it. The others don’t.


Do not think you’ll be able to hide your own desires, not having to act on them until she makes the first move.
Take responsibility for the fact that you will lead the interaction with the girl. This isn’t about your comfort. It’s about hers..


Also realize that you don’t have to be concerned with every single little body nuance or flash of eye contact. I am not 100% ultra-masculine all of the time. It doesn’t matter.. she knows what I am from my overall communication. After a certain point her perception of you will be so set that when she does notice something not quite rock-hard in mannerism, she’ll appreciate it even more. She’ll feel she’s earned a peek at your softer more vulnerable side. She wants to see this- she wants to know you have this side of you- this is established comfort with her.


Violence and Amogs:
The military has a lot to offer on this concept. So much is fundamentally built into teaching us the way to communicate. I deal sometimes with soldiers who have fucked up enough to be decreed unfit for military duty. Disrespectful, noncompliant, whatever.. they’re out- and they know it. Yet when I am present there is no room for any of this bullshit. My mannerisms and way of acting only allows for them to treat me with respect. I don’t look to them to see if I’m doing the right thing, or if I’m being a “cool” Lieutenant, or if they’re listening to what I’m saying. I walked into a situation where four of these soldiers were standing face to face, red and screaming, about to throw blows. I walked right into the middle of it- absolutely no room or time for hesitation. “What the FUCK is going on here.. All of you- go downstairs.” That was it. There was no room for them to project an aggressive attitude on me- I wanted to know what they were doing. I was the one projecting- not them.


I had an ex-girlfriend a few years ago who went into the boys bathroom with her friend because the girl’s line was so long. A bouncer put his hands on them and basically forced them out. They immediately got into a confrontation with the guy- yelling, screaming, calling him names. He got aggressive- standing there with fists clenched, calling them names back and acting threatening- a hulking black guy getting in a confrontation with two little 5′5″ females. All of it absolutely worthless and wasted effort. He attempted to talk to me- but I wanted nothing to do with him. I was not going to directly address him and let him think we were on the same level. I called for his manager. The manager came, immediately trying to use his bulk to cower me. It didn’t even enter into my reality. I explained to him what happened and told him he had a physically aggressive bouncer putting his hands on females. He said, “But they were in the boys bathroom.” I looked at him calmly and said, “That’s not the point.” He said.. “you’re right.” and sent the guy walking immediately. Stupidly the bouncer and the two girls were still fighting with each other as he walked off down the street.

Hey guys,  Another fantastic post I’ve found by Sheriff from Love Systems.


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Sheriff writes:

I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.


I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.


Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).


Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.


For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:


“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”


BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.


You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.


As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.


What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial


Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.


Key points:

• Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points
• Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences
• The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway
• Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

If you have Read The Attraction Code then please give a rating at the bottom of the page and add a review to the comments page.

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It’s been about a year since I finished the DiCarlo, but I remember what struck me most about it was his focus on being a natural. The advice wasn’t bad per se but it did contradict several techniques I had been using successfully in the field for three years. DiCarlo has a fictitious scenario/example that accompanies each chapter I found engaging and realistic. Much of the book has a theme that is something like: “Hey, just be yourself!” which I don’t think is a technique that will work for all of us. I would probably turn to his advice if I were deeper into a “relationship” with a woman and was trying to transition out of my PUA mode with her. Third date post coitus. Good for comfort stage, but I’d put it behind some of the other artists for attraction stage. The only kind of complaint I might have is the design of the ebook. A lot of pages with minimal content on each. Heavy on design and graphics. Not junk though.

If you have heard Way of Gun then please give a rating at the bottom of the page and add a review to the comments page.

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I really liked this one. This is a no nonsense guide to pickup and covers a bunch of things that other don’t even think about such as testosterone’s link to attraction and the game. The Availablity disk alone is worth the money for the set. This gave me a fresh take on girls that really improved my inner game and my game in general.

If you have watched The Blueprint Decoded then please give a rating at the bottom of the page and add a review to the comments box.

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Ok here’s the deal:

- Contains absolutely essential ‘inner game’ concepts that are applicable and necessary for ANYTHING in life, definitely for being attractive to women.

- Presented thoroughly and with passion. Tyler wrote he wants to be the new Anthony Robbins, well Anthony Robbins he is certainly not, basically Tyler’s just shouting. However, he does deliver his message with true devotion, and it’s the thought that counts. He believes in his word strongly.

- It’s an inner game product all the way. If you want any ‘tactics’, you’re looking in the wrong DVD set.

- Tyler’s ideas are excellent realizations, and they are new in the SEDUCTION COMMUNITY. But if you’re an avid veteran self help fan like moi, literally NOTHING he says is new. You’ve heard it all before plenty of times throughout the self help literature. Once again, not in the seduction community literature specifically. People, don’t be ignorant. Mystery didn’t invent evolution and Tyler didn’t invent ‘trusting yourself’ and ‘being authentic’. If you believe that they did, then it shows that you’re way too involved in the ‘community’ microworld and have no clue about self growth literature beyond it. Blueprint is a rehash of GREAT ESSENTIAL ideas, but still a rehash.

- very very very high price. I know RSD invested in surround sound and HD quality or whatever, but hell, it’s just a lecture! Who needs HD quality? I would recommend buying the CD version but the problem is it doesn’t even cut the price that much. Clearly RSD’s business masterminds are aiming to marketing this primarily to their die hard devoted fans. Someone who knows the market would realize a message as the one that tyler delivers clearly cannot be priced at $600, when similar self help literature is abundant, albeit not written by certified P.U.A.’s.

- To recap: awesome content, not new but new to those who focus exclusively on the ‘community’. Tyler does a great job, not Anthony Robbins yet but still delivering with passion. RSD business team either got it all wrong or wish to market to the die hard crowd and therefore don’t mind hyping the price. Well if Mystery sold a DVD for $2500, I guess die hard crowd don’t mind paying $600. Lesson: don’t be a die hard crowd Personally, I don’t regret buying it because I’m an avid self help collector, and overall it’s good work by Tyler.

-MD